Detriment of being a pessimist

I would define myself to be more of a pessimist than an optimist. Sadly. I believe that in general, everyone is a bit of both. We’re all human. We all have ups and downs. However, in my case, I’m a pessimist more than a optimist. I envy those who can constantly have a positive mind. But like I said, (okay, this is getting repetitive…) everyone is a bit of both.

Okay, the reason for this post isn’t because I wanna discuss how everyone is an optimist and a pessimist. I wanted to write about my exams. Wtf, how does that relate to being a pessimist?

Ever since I’ve entered post-secondary, I got a new perspectives on taking tests. In high school, I only saw it as a way of testing whether I’m smart or dumb. (In some cases, just if I could memorize information or not.) Not much honestly. Well actually yeah but different from now. Now, I see them as whether or not I can make a difference in someone’s life. (Wait what.) Yeah, I see them as determining whether or not I can save someone’s life. Call me crazy or psychotic if you will, but that’s sort of how I came to see things. It’s just an exam, not rocket science. Exactly! I have these thoughts where I think if I can’t even do good on an exam, how exactly I supposed to know how to build a rocket in the future? You know what I mean? …I realize the more I get into this, the more I actually really realize how crazy I am. I kind of hate myself for thinking like this. Just study hard. But I don’t even know what it is that I don’t get. I need to change my study method.

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