6am with second thoughts and billion questions.


I shouldn’t be starting this post with lol but there it is. Because in all honesty, I don’t know how to start this post.

What’s even better? I don’t even know what to say.

It’s 6am and I can see the sun rise from the window through the blinds.

Did I sleep? Haha no.

I swear I don’t have any sleeping problems because god, I swear, I can sleep like a bear on its hibernation season.

It’s just today I’m having thoughts in my head that’s keeping me from falling asleep.

I’m having second thoughts and questions to myself to the university that I will be going to. The post secondary that I will be attending is far away from here. (Some may say it’s not far at all since I’m not even going over seas or out of the country.) I’m starting to doubt the path that I will be taking… Hahahaha already! Even before I start attending…

The number one reason is, I’m not sure what I want to be. I thought I knew but I guess not. Also with some changes to the program requirements, I’m panicking… Just a little bit. Haha. (Haha, I keep having a nervous laughter. Let’s hope I don’t get a nervous break down.)

The other reason is, this isn’t one of the cheaper universities. Especially from a student with financial needs, I’d have to agree, this university that I will be attending is pretty expensive, I must admit.

This is where I question myself in every way. Why do I want to go to a university with an expensive tuition for something I’m not even sure I want to do? Do I really want to move that far? Do I NEED to move that far?

One question just leads to another and then in the end, I just ended up having multiple questions trapped in my head – left unanswered.

Dear future me, haha, this is quite the dilemma I’ve got here. At the moment, to be truthful, I’m just hoping that time would pass by and everything gets sorted out all by itself. As you’re reading this, do you remember this situation I had to go through? Or is this just a phrase? Sometimes, when writing this post -no. Letter. When I’m writing letter to my future self, I wish you could give me advice or answer back somehow to make this moment, or life (perhaps) easier.

But it’s true, in all seriousness, “time waits for no one.”

I mean, there so many people moving away further than me. Then what the hell? What does that make me? Why am I always so attached to places so easily? Ugh.

But this is actually weird how I can’t sleep. Hahahaha. Let’s hope I can figure this all out as soon as possible. I’m also hoping everything works out in the end.

Could it be that I’m emotionally unstable?

Hahahahahaha pshhhh nahh

Screw that. I got this.

I’ll sort it out somehow.


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